A book called “Masturbation, Tantra and Self Love” by Margo Woods.   Moves the reader away from the notion of basic, everyday masturbation and through Tantric practices, she guides the reader into self love. Well, let me tell you that this book has become a bible for me.

I start each day with a self-love ritual that lasts approximately 30 minutes. My goal is to raise the level of erotic energy in my body so that I am on the verge of ejaculation. I then “kneel in the flame” for as long as I can, allowing the energy to fill me up. Oftentimes, by this point, seminal fluid is flowing out of my penis. I do breathing exercises and often concentrate on my “third eye,” the spot in the center of my forehead. I also count each deep breath I take. All of this breathing, counting, and concentrating on my “third eye” is a way to consciously control the erotic energy that is trying to push me toward ejaculation. But instead, I hover at the brink, filling my body with this wonderful, healing energy. Finally, I let go, usually when the energy has begun to subside on its own. (I must admit that there are times when my body has its way and I ejaculate, thus ending this meditation.)

Once my genitals have relaxed, I massage two areas: the soft spot in my perineum between my scrotum and my anus, and the soft spot between my anus and my tailbone. I massage each of these two areas in a circular motion 81 times. (The number “81″ has significant numerological importance to those into numerology. I don’t happen to be one of those people.) Counting to 81 helps me to concentrate on the meditation, rather than losing myself in the ecstatic sensations. Yet the sensations I experience send me into orgasmic delight. My body shakes and dances as the energy that has been stored up in my pelvis is released to the rest of my body. Often this massage leaves me limp and breathless. The neat thing is that if I have the time, I can start the process all over again. Since there was no depletion due to ejaculation, my “humming” body is more than happy to go to higher erotic states. Later in the day, I will have at least one self-love session that leads to an ejaculation. At other times, I will live in this energy for several days as I add to it each morning. The sensations careening through my body are difficult to describe as I go about my day filled with this incredible energy. Suffice it to say it allows me to live in erotic energy 24 hours a day.

In conclusion, I have often read that you cannot hope to love another completely until you learn to love yourself. I would add to this that one of the best ways to learn loving yourself is to learn how to make love to yourself.

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