Archive for the ‘Tips & Tricks 4 Male Masturbation’ Category

This method is also great because there is no mess to clean up when you ejaculate.You will also be able to experiment with some otherwise messy lubes if you desire.
This technique is an advanced method because it will require you to practice your EXACT position in the bathtub in order to masturbate without pain.
This time, you need to get the correct water temperature. Let warm water run for at least 3 to 5 minutes before placing your body under the water flow. Test the water with your wrist or forearm first. (The hands and fingers are not very good at sensing temperature.)

USE CAUTION:  The penis is very sensitive and might burn sooner than your hands would under hot water.

Third, you will need to pull yourself in as close as you can to the stream of water. This is the tricky part in this technique. First, you will need to get your rear end as close to the water as possible. Next, you will have to lay down and brace yourself by pushing your hands against the back of the bathtub or wall and push your whole body forward as you lift your legs up in the air and lay them up against the wall with your feet facing the ceiling.

Tip 1 – Run the warm water in the bathtub with the drain plugged before you start. Otherwise, the bathtub floor is very cold when you lay down on it.

Tip 2 – The water provides a nice lubrication, but if you require more lubrication, here is a good chance to use some otherwise messy products such as Vaseline, hand lotions, cooking oils, etc. Some of the heavier lubes will not wash off in the water right away.

To simulate the feeling of lips sliding over the penis head: Lube up your erection and hold the shaft in one hand. Put your dominant hand’s index and middle fingers together horizontally, palm toward your face, in front of the penis head. Push the head into the gap between the fingers. The fingers should be relaxed, not tense. Now pull back and do this over and over the top third of the penis. Feel how the fingers conform to the penis’s contour as they slide over the head and back.

In a tissue
This is perhaps the easiest and most convenient way to get rid of your spooge. Keep a box of tissues near the bed or where ever you wank, and just grab one a little before the moment of truth arrives – or grab two, if you’re a high volume shooter. Just be sure you throw the used tissue out immediately; you don’t want to pick it up later and mistakenly blow your nose in it, or have a guest stumble on it by accident.

In a wet washcloth
Cumming into a warm, wet washcloth can be a pleasure in itself, and is definitely a step up from Kleenex. Use fabric softener in the wash for best results. Make sure you deal with the washcloth appropriately after wards. Don’t rinse it out and put it on the towel rack where someone might use it on their face. Put it straight in the laundry hamper.

In a sock
Socks are great – there’s usually one lying around, and they fit perfectly over your cock. Thick socks are best for absorption; dress socks are too thin. When you’re done, toss it into the laundry bin or toss it under the bed. Some people will reuse the same sock multiple times. The disadvantage is you end up with a lot of mismatched socks, but that happens anyway.

In a T-shirt
Another reliable spunk catcher is the T-shirt. If you’re not wearing one, there’s likely to be one within reach. A T-shirt also has enough material that, if you’re careful, you can reuse it for several sessions. The downside of using clothing is that you’ll always find yourself automatically checking before you go out to make sure your shirt isn’t crusty.

In a plastic bag
Got a drawer full of plastic bags from the grocery store? Here’s one way to recycle them. You can also use sandwich bags. Plastic bags clean and convenient if you’re masturbating someplace where you can’t immediately dispose of your spewage, like in a car. Put a little lube in the bag for a fabulous fake pussy.

In a condom
Similar to plastic bags, condoms allow you to shoot, contain your jizz, and toss at your convenience. Get the condom on while you’re still masturbating, then finish the job. If you want to keep your hands clean or avoid leaking precum on anything, you can put the condom on as soon as you start getting hard. It’s kind of a waste of a condom, but if you’re not having sex, you might as well get some use out of them. Also, you can leave the spent condoms in your wastebasket if you want people to think you’ve been getting laid.

In the plants
An eco-friendly solution to the problem: it wastes no water, creates no garbage, and it’s good for the environment. Spunk is 100% bio-degradeable and contains protein, minerals, and nitrogen that plants thrive on. Shoot into the soil of a houseplant, or into the shrubs outdoors. You’ll be doing the plants a favor by fertilizing them, and your friends will be impressed by your green thumb.
Into the toilet
This takes good aim, but it’s the tidiest method if you can pull it off. Simple and easy – one flush and you’re done. It’s a little unceremonious, but it leaves no evidence.

In the shower
Carefree jizzing is one of the many advantages to jerking off in the shower, along with privacy, lots of slippery stuff for lube (shampoo, hair conditioner), and multitasking as you tend to your daily hygiene. In the shower, it doesn’t matter if your jizz lands on yourself, the floor, or the tile wall; it all washes down the drain with a little hot water.

In a scrapbook
Do you like to keep a record of your accomplishments? Buy a large scrapbook with plain heavy paper pages. Before you start masturbating, lay the book open to a fresh page. When you cum, spew your wad onto the paper. Write down the date and any comments (volume, consistency, etc.). Let it dry completely, otherwise the pages will stick together.

In an ice cube tray
Another way to preserve your spunk is to take the cryogenic route. Cum into an ice cube tray and freeze the contents. Depending on the size of the tray, you should be able to store several loads. There’s no guarantee that your sperm will still be viable, but the cum-cubes can liven up your next party.

Into a shot glass
Squirting into a shot glass or small tumbler is cool because you can see the volume of your load and get a good look at the color and consistency. If you’re into drinking your own cum (and some guys are), this also makes it easy to toss it back – wedge of lime is optional. See above suggestion (ice cube tray) for a complete cum cocktail.

In your hand
Catching your jizz in your hand is sort of a last resort method for when you didn’t plan anything else, or your original plan was thwarted (no Kleenex in the box, couldn’t make it to the bathroom in time, etc.). Keep your palm cupped and your fingers together. Get to a sink as soon as you can and wash it down the drain.

Into your face/mouth
If you’re flexible enough, and you get off on tasting your own jizz, this can make you totally self-sufficient. Lie on your back and put your legs and feet up over your head so you’re bent double. Lying on the floor with your back pushed up against the wall can help. Position your cock over your face as you wank, then open your mouth and let the cum fall in. Close your eyes if you’re shooting on your face; semen in the eyes stings like hell. Advanced yoga practitioners and contortionists can use this position for auto-fellatio (self-sucking).

With some kind of lubrication, rub the tip of your penis head against the palm of your other hand. The resulting orgasm will be very powerful.

Lie down on your side and hold onto your penis with the Backhand grip. Roll over further and brace your hand against the bed, and thrust your penis in and out of your hand. This closely mimics the movements of intercourse. It’s a very different feeling to masturbate by moving your pelvis rather than your hand. It’s also fun to put your other hand down and feel your scrotum moving back and forth as you pump in and out of the “vagina.”

This one is kind of a backwards version of the “fist”  is a little funny, but it feels very good. This time, grab your penis from the left side rather than the right (if you’re right-handed). To do this, rotate your wrist so your thumb is pointing down; you may have to pull your penis slightly to the side. It’s a little awkward at first, but it’s an excellent grip to use when you just want to try something other than the “Fist” for a few minutes.