fruit fucking

One of our dedicated callers submitted this info today, enjoy!

Materials Needed:

– Various fruits large and sturdy enough to withstand vigorous sex long enough to achieve orgasm
– A stop watch to determine how long it takes to come to orgasm with that particular fruit
– A drill auger to carve an erect cock sized hole into the fruit
– Barry White CD for getting in the ‘mood’
– A garbage bag to dispose of the used and violated fruit

EXPERIMENT RESULTS

(For length reasons for this article, I removed several fruits that I did indeed have sex with. I only included my more spectacular or controversial results.)

Watermelon

Time to Reach Orgasm:  6 Minutes 21 seconds

Sturdiness:  The hard exterior shell of the water melon withstood my affections quite well, but the same could not be said of the soft fleshy interior. By the time I came, the interior cavity was quite a bit larger than my own dick. The watermelon flesh is very soft on the inside, and is turned to pulp very quickly by a pounding dick.

The melon did crack a little as well, although it likely was my overzealous lovemaking that caused this, so I do not hold it against the watermelon.

Texture:  The watermelon’s rind felt very pleasurable on my dick  and it compensated for the lack of resistance on the interior of the melon. Also, the abundant water kept my dick lubricated quite adequately.

Final Impressions:  I really enjoyed my brief affair with the watermelon. I credit the hard-yet-yielding exterior rind and the lubricating water for making it a superior sexual partner. It did lose points for the too-soft interior though, so it is certainly not a perfect 10. I would also suggest to not get too rough with the watermelon, or it may crack open. A little spanking is ok, just don’t go overboard.

Passion Fruit

Time to Reach Orgasm:  Did not achieve climax

Sturdiness:  This fruit has the most misleading name ever. First of all, it was the smallest fruit that I had sex with. It was just barely big enough to support a hole that would take in my dick. Secondly, it was far too soft and mushy to be appropriate for physical expressions of love. The passion fruit basically turned to mush after only 30 seconds of thrusting.

Texture:  Soft, mushy, and kind of slimy. The gooey texture was sexually unappealing and was a mood killer. The juices were also somewhat acidic, and they burned my pee hole. The passion fruit also stained my dick an unsightly yellow color which would not come out for days.

Final Impressions:  The passion fruit is a very inferior lover with an inappropriate name. I thought: how could I lose with passion fruit? I was wrong. It is too small, and it is just too weak to withstand all but the most timid lovemaking session. Its slimy texture was just not attractive either. Take it from me: it is not appropriate to have sex with a passion fruit.

Cantaloupe

Time to Reach Orgasm:  8 Minutes 46 seconds

Sturdiness:  Truthfully I had sex with two different cantaloupes. The first cantaloupe I had relations with fell apart. I am not averse to rough sex at times and I guess I got a little too carried away with cantaloupe #1; so much so that it broke into several pieces. After that I realized that I would have to make sweet, soft tender love to the cantaloupe; to be a gentle and caring and attentive lover. To cantaloupe #2 I was all of those things and more.

It survived the ordeal relatively unscathed, and the integrity of the ***** hole was such that I was almost tempted to put the cantaloupe in the fridge and save it for round 2, once I had recovered my stamina. It was kind of slimy with cantaloupe juice and semen though, so I decided to dispose of it.

Texture:  The cantaloupe had a very pleasing, smooth texture to it. Out of all the fruits I had, I think the cantaloupe feels the closest to a human woman. It did have seeds in the core, but they were very soft did not in any way scratch my *****. Also the cantaloupe skin is a bit rough so I made sure the ***** hole had a bit of a flair at the open end to avoid chafing.

Final Impressions:  Overall the cantaloupe is an outstanding sexual partner. It is a fairly solid fruit with a smooth feel. You do have to keep in mind though that any rough stuff will likely result in the cantaloupe falling apart. Make love to the cantaloupe as you would a sophisticated lady and not a 5 dollar hooker and you will have an evening to remember.

This guy really takes his fruit fucking to a new level. If you have your own stories or would like to experiment with one of the girlz call!

last longer

If your problem is not lasting long enough to even satisfy you or your lover then you should check out Premature Ejaculation in our Health section; this article is more about improving an already adequate performance…

One common goal amongst virtually all guys is to last longer during sexual intercourse. Unfortunately, most men can’t last as long as they would like and feel inadequate because of it. The first thing that needs to be understood is that the state of mind a person is in has a huge effect on their sexual performance. Getting all uptight and worried is going to do you no good; neither is having a partner that gets really angry about it. Both parties need to work together to improve the situation, and the most important thing is to stay positive.

The first principle behind the techniques and suggestions listed below is the man’s ability to know his own body. By understanding how his body works and how his excitement rises, he should be able to learn how to pace himself better. It is key to know when to slow down to allow your excitement to drop enough so that you can “re-group” and then pick up the pace again. The second principle has to do with decreasing the sensitivity of the penis. By decreasing the sensitivity, it will take more stimulation to achieve the excitement necessary for climax. The following techniques and suggestions should help boost his sexual stamina, but they are not miracle cures, it will take patience and the right attitude to make things better.

Start & Stop Technique

The primary principle of this technique is to stimulate the penis until near ejaculation, and then stop stimulating to allow the level of excitement to drop. This exercise can be performed alone, or with a partner, and should be repeated 3 to 5 times per session. After 2-6 weeks of using this technique you should notice an improvement in your sexual stamina and will eventually not even have to use it to outlast your partner.

Squeeze Technique

Right before you feel you are about to ejaculate, approximately three or four strokes away, stop stimulating and squeeze the base of your penis by wrapping your thumb and index finger around it. Apply firm pressure, focusing on the urethra, the tube running along the underside of the penis. This lessens the tension and holds back the ejaculatory response. Be sure to apply pressure a few strokes before ejaculating … if you wait too long, it may be too late! You should be able to apply this technique anywhere along the shaft of the penis, as long as it squeezes the urethra.

Regular Masturbation

A great method for boosting sexual stamina and releasing sexual tension is regular masturbation. By masturbating more often, you can train yourself to become more used to the stimulation. As you get more and more used to it, it should start taking you progressively longer to climax.

Wearing Condoms

Many couples have claimed that wearing condoms significantly reduces the stimulation of intercourse for both partners, but especially the male. If you are not already using condoms to protect against STD’s and pregnancy, try wearing them to increase your stamina. If necessary, consider wearing a thicker condom, it should make a large difference in the amount of stimulation that you feel.

male ejaculation

The formal definition of male ejaculation is “the release of semen from the penis”. During sexual stimulation, semen collects in the ejaculatory ducts located where the vas deferentia join seminal vesicles within the prostate gland. When stimulation reaches climax, a spinal reflex causes contractions to the muscles within the penis, urethra, and the prostate gland. These contractions propel the semen through the urethra and out of the tip of the penis. Although male ejaculation and orgasm occur simultaneously in most cases, they are not the same process. An orgasm, specifically, is the rhythmic muscular contractions that are a release of accumulated sexual tension and result in an intensely pleasurable sensation.

The rhythmic contractions occur initially at 0.8-second intervals, just as in women, and account for the spurting action of the semen during ejaculation. The intervals between contractions become longer and the intensity of the contractions tapers off after the first three or four contractions. Semen usually takes a few seconds to appear … ejaculatory inevitability (the point at which stopping is impossible) … because of the distance the fluid has to travel. During ejaculation, the sphincter of the urinary bladder is tightly sealed to keep urine from mixing with the semen, as well as making sure that the fluid travels forward, or out.

There are a surprising 20 million sperm/ml of seminal fluid, and average ejaculation consists of 1.5-5ml. Semen contains aboutonia, ascorbic acid, blood-group antigens, calcium, chlorine, cholesterol, choline, citric acid, creatine, deoxyribonucleic acid, fructose, glutathione, hyaluronidase, inositol, lactic acid, magnesium, nitrogen, phosphorus, potassium, purine, pyrimidine, pyruvic acid, sodium, sorbitol, spermidine, spermine, urea, uric acid, vitamin B12, and zinc — but all in very modest quantities. Some of this is designed to nourish the semen enroute, while other ingredients are designed to neutralize the acidic environment of the vagina (which would normally be inhospitable to Sperm). In case you are wondering, most of these ingredients are indeed very healthy, and an average ejaculation contains only about 15 calories.

Since orgasms and ejaculation are separate, it is possible to have either without the other.

In situations where ejaculation occurs on its own, there are two main causes. In the first, involuntary ejaculation occurs during sleep, and is known as nocturnal emission (formally) or a wet dream (in slang). The second main cause is known as Premature Ejaculation), which is a sexual condition in which a man consistently feels he has little or no control over the timing of his build up to ejaculation.

Orgasm can occur without ejaculation. Retrograde ejaculation is a condition where the bladder’s sphincter does not close off properly during ejaculation, so semen flows into the bladder. It is commonly found in men who have multiple sclerosis, diabetes, or after some types of prostate surgery. Before you get worried, it can also occur occasionally in men who do not have any serious problems. It is not physically harmful, but it can render the man infertile and he may have a different sensation during ejaculation. This condition is also known as a “dry come” because the man may experience orgasm, but no semen is released from the penis.

autofellatio

It sits on the horizon of man’s perfection, alone, holding the key to a life of bliss, free of stress and drama. It sits just out of reach, just beyond our ability to grasp it and enter the nirvana that we feel is due us. No we are not talking about enlightenment, world peace, or cold fusion; we are speaking of that widespread desire of males to give themselves fellatio (a.k.a. a ‘blow-job’). Doing it to one-self is properly known as ‘auto-fellatio’. Attainable to only the most talented yoga masters or well-endowed porn stars, autofellatio still stands as a source of lore, legend and urban myth. It is the height of masturbatory fantasy for some men, a morbid fascination for others and shied away from by others as a challenge to their heterosexuality.

Whatever your position on the topic of autofellatio, entire websites have been dedicated to both the most pornographic representations of the deed and its most artistic. Entire galleries in New York have been reserved for shows depicting the male form self-servicing in a wide array of locales. So why the massive interest here? We can see the roots of this absorption in this peculiarly difficult form of masturbation in history and in our particular sexual desires.

Men like fellatio; this is true, with some exception, en masse. They like the control, the eroticism of the removed source of pleasure and, obviously, the pleasure of a mouth on their genitals. Here is the disconnection from reality. In most cases self -blowing is incredibly uncomfortable, as exemplified in the Kevin Smith movie Clerks where a man dies, breaking his neck, during an attempt to get his mouth all the way to his penis. Though most likely not based on any factual basis, the point stands – bending in half to suck your penis probably is not the most sensual experience. It seems then that perhaps autofellatio is exactly what it seems, just a dream – a funny sexual fantasy that few can do and even less actually enjoy.

Autofellatio History

Autofellatio has had a history fraught with mythological god-behavior, and forbidden desire. In Victorian England many historical paintings depicting such acts were vandalized and led to the restriction of a thorough history of autofellatio from being widely publicized. Despite this, evidence of this sex act can be located as far back as ancient Egypt.

Archaeologists have found hieroglyphs and ancient paintings featuring men performing autofellatio. Academic David Lorton says that many ancient texts refer to autofellatio within the religious mythology of Egypt. He also notes that autofellatio was performed during rituals as a result of the sun god Ra’s mythological birthing technique. Ra is said to have created Shu and Tefnut (Egyptian gods) by sucking himself into orgasm and then spitting his semen on the ground.

Egyptologists still argue about the translation of some hieroglyphs and the meaning of divine blowjobs. Some experts feel that the ancient wall paintings mean that Horus, son of the god Osiris, maintained cosmic order by ingesting his own semen and thus keeping the stars in their places. Despite this debate as to the meaning of these hieroglyphs, there seems to be ample evidence that self-fellatio was at the very least a topic of discussion in Egypt.

Current practice

From art galleries in the Upper East Side, to the porn studios of van Nuys California, perhaps the most famous spectacle of autofellatio is the adult star Ron Jeremy. Though it may be hard to believe, Mr. Jeremy (widely accepted as the king of porn) used to be quite thin. In the 1970’s a number of adult films were released showing Ron blowing himself. He notes in a modern day interview, that it was less for pleasure and more for the fact that it was so freakish.

Ior Bock, a Finnish rock musician, has talked openly about his own ability to autofellate. This practice seems to be rooted deeply in Finnish tradition, and is called “saunasolmu” or in English the “sauna knot.” The name likely comes from the practice of getting it on with yourself in the warmth of a sauna, which would relax and soften the muscles, allowing for greater ease of access!

Another interesting place that our enthrallment with autofellatio has taken us to is rib removal and ease of access. Probably the most common source for this urban legend is embodied in Marilyn Manson. The story goes like this: Marilyn Manson had a rib removed to make it possible to fellate himself. This rumour also circulated about Prince, and in another context Cher. In an investigation of this rumour it is clear that in no part of the western world has elective rib removal ever been recorded. This, obviously, is not to say that it could not have been done in secret, but there is no evidence of such a surgery ever being performed.

So with the right combination of flexibility and penile length, the feat is possible. Whether natural selection had something to do with it, ie all the self-suckers never bothered finding a mate, or not, the fact of the matter is it would take the average man years if not decades to be able to enjoy even the bare basics of fellatio. If we may suggest, the best way to get more fellatio is to get better at cunnilingus!

Let one of the Girlz help you out!

anal masturbation

This form of masturbation conjures up all sorts of misconceptions. Some assume that a person who enjoys anal play is perverted or immoral; others believe that partaking in it would somehow compromise their sexual orientation. There are also those who keep the ‘back door’ closed because opening it might make them feel too vulnerable. It is easy to see that perception can have a major impact on a person’s experience with anal exploration.

Being open to anal play is an indication that a person feels comfortable with his or her body. It also suggests that they don’t let outside influences affect the expression of sexuality that feels natural to them. With this spirit of openness, this article will focus on anatomy, sex toys, tips, and methods as they relate to anal masturbation. The information will apply to both men and women, apart from the section about prostate stimulation.

The Anus

The anus is a bodily orifice that is rich in sensitive nerve endings. The primary purpose of the anus it is to eliminate waste from the body (see Sexual Anatomy ). It is an anti-posterior slit in the skin, meaning that it runs from outside of the body inwards. It is one part of a complex system that combines voluntary and involuntary contractions of muscles and other sphincters. The anal canal, which is situated between the rectum and the anus, is about 4 centimetres long; the length varies among men and women, but women’s canals are usually shorter.

The tissue of the anus is very thin compared to the vagina and can be torn if forced. The anus is a one-way valve, meaning that it passes feces out and is not normally designed to allow things in! It is therefore very important to take things slowly, never to force penetration and to be mindful not to over-stretch it. Read our articles on Anal Intercourse , Anal Fingering and for more detailed information.

Does Anal Masturbation Hurt?

Anal masturbation creates a wholly unique sensation. At first, it might seem uncomfortable, but that’s because the sensation is so distinctive. Moreover, a tremendous amount of tension and nervousness can easily manifest in the constriction of the external sphincter; thus, the anus gets tightly clamped, making it difficult to pass anything through it. The best thing to do prior to play is to engage in an activity that can alleviate these stresses, like going for a run or getting a massage. If you follow all of our tips and it continues to feel uncomfortable, don’t be hard on yourself. It may not be an activity that is right for you at this time.

Why Bother with Anal Masturbation? Let one of the girlz assist you, Call 1-877-469-3848

Anal exploration plays a role in human sexuality, mainly because of the erotic pleasure it can bring. If a person is very aroused when they commence anal masturbation, they can experience quite a range of titillating sensations. With the right positioning, anal masturbation can indirectly excite a woman’s g-spot or man’s p-spot (prostate gland), even to the point of climax. There is also evidence that an anal orgasm can be experienced independently of clitoral/penile or g-spot/p-spot stimulation. Even just the idea of anal penetration can be highly arousing; its provocative reputation and unconventional role in the bedroom can be a real turn on.

There are other great reasons to try anal masturbation. As with any form of masturbation, it is essential to the development of a person’s sexuality to discover the sensations their body responds to, at a pace they feel comfortable with. Playing with the anus is also an excellent way to work on letting go of control and over-constriction; some people are so tightly wound that even a genital Orgasm is difficult to achieve!

Anal masturbation is perfect preparation for anal play with a partner, whether you’re the one that wants to introduce it or are working your way up to a partner’s request. Exploring the anal region on your own may also alleviate any embarrassment you might feel if someone else were there. Since relaxing and letting go is essential to pleasurable anal penetration, solo play may be the only way you gain more confidence at the onset.

Let one of the girlz assist you!

massaging the penis

Below is a listing of hand job techniques. Although not necessary, it is better to perform these using a lubricant.  Call for help.

Pressure

With one hand, pull the shaft’s skin toward the base and wrap the fingers of this hand around the base to act as a cock ring. Using the other hand, rhythmically pick various points along the shaft of the penis and squeeze opposite sides of the penile shaft at these points, releasing pressure either immediately or after only a brief period of time.

Fire

Rub the penis between both palms, as if rubbing two sticks together to create fire. Be sure to use plenty of oil.

Glans Head Massage

Hold the penis in one hand with the head sticking up. Using the well-oiled palm of your other hand, slowly and sensitively massage the glans head. Reverse directions every once in a while.

Healing Stroke

With the penis resting on the man’s stomach, take one hand and cup the testicles. Then glide the heel of the palm of the other hand up and down the underside of the penis.

Twist and Shout

Pull the skin of the penis toward the base with one hand. With the other hand, corkscrew the penis. This can be done with the thumb and first finger or with your entire grip.

Anvil Stroke

Start with one hand lightly grasping the top of the penis. Then stroke the penis from the top, all the way to the bottom. When you hit the bottom, release the penis. Meanwhile, bring your other hand to the top of the penis and repeat.

Bookends

Place both of your hands side by side against his shaft like a pair of bookends. Now push hard against his penis. Then lift your hands up and down.

Doorknob

Turn the head of his penis like you’re trying to open an oily doorknob. Now try turning the other way. Repeat. This stroke is sometimes improved by using the other hand to stretch the skin of the penis toward the base.

Double Whammy

Bring your well lubricated hands down on his shaft. Some penises are so big they require both hands; if your partner’s doesn’t, then use the other hand to caress and lightly flutter his testicles, or tighten around the base of his shaft. If both hands fit along the length of the shaft then move them together, up and down, in the typical pumping motion. Pretend you’re holding a baseball bat and are about to score a grand slam. You can also vary the directions of your hands: one up, one down at the same time.

Milking

Start with one hand lightly grasping the bottom of the penis. Then stroke the penis from the bottom all the way to the top. When you hit the top, release the penis. Meanwhile, bring your other hand to the bottom of the penis and repeat.

Perpetual Penetration

Start with one hand lightly grasping the top of the penis. Then stroke the penis from the top all the way to the bottom, letting his penis “penetrate” into your fist on each stroke. Before the head of his penis pops out of your hand, bring the other hand up for the next penetration. This way it seems to him like he is penetrating deeper and deeper into an infinite vagina. Make sure you keep the penetration continuous.

Ring

Make a ring with your thumb and forefinger and pump up and down with it. When you get to the top close the ring. Then make him squeeze his way in as you slide back down to the bottom.

Shaft

Stroke only his shaft, ignoring his glans head. You will notice his glans head swelling and turning red. When it’s bright red, use Doorknob, Glans Head Massage, or Perpetual Penetration.

Shuttle Penis

Take the penis in both hands, fingers lightly touching the sides of the shaft. Now flick the penis back and forth between your two hands by holding onto the loose skin of the shaft. Do this stroke for a while to allow tension to build.

Spot Pinch

Lightly and slowly run a finger up the underside of his penis. Ask him to tell you where the most sensitive spot is. Pinch, squeeze, nibble and tease that spot.

We’re  always looking to lend an extra hand…..

man-bib

Poor dudes. Masturbation is just so messy. Once a dude is ready to blow, he’s forced to find a roll of toilet paper, box of tissues, or a sock to take care of the aftermath. Well, it’s time for men to save their Kleenex for the sniffles, stop using up all the TP, and leave their socks on. Now when he masturbates, he can simply wear a Man Bib! These handmade and machine washable bibs tie around the penis for one-size-fits-all convenience. Instead of having to leave the scene of the crime, he can masturbate and bask in the pleasure of having his clean team right there. Man Bibs come in camo for the hunter, denim for the cowboy, leather for the biker, tartan for the Scotsman, Studio55 for the metro-sexual, and High School Musical for the one with a Peter Pan!!

more male masturbation tips

Mushroom Masturbation

Lubrication is recommended for this technique. Here you want to hold your penis firmly in one hand; again, not too firmly, but whatever feels comfortable for you. With the other hand, rest the open palm over the head of the penis and turn in a circular motion. If this is at all uncomfortable, then do not proceed. However, once you have the circular motion down, you can try adding further stimulation to the staff by moving your hand holding it in an up and down motion. Here’s the tricky part that may take practice. You actually have to concentrate on moving one hand up and down and the other in a circular motion. I realize this isn’t exactly what you want to do when you’re trying to pleasure yourself, but sometimes the best things in life have to be worked for!

Play-Doh Method

Ever play with play-doh as a kid? Remember rolling it in your hands? Well, that’s what this technique is all about. Lubrication is definitely recommended because this can cause some friction. For best results, you want to begin this technique before you become fully erect. Place your penis between your outstretched hands. Roll your penis between your hands, i.e. one hand moves forward, while the other moves backwards. Vary speed and pressure to get the best feeling.

Upward/Downward Squeeze

In this method, hold the base of the penis with one hand, pulling the skin taut. Use the other hand to squeeze the penis while moving it up the shaft and over the head. Then reverse direction and squeeze downward. The trick to this is applying the right pressure to make one fluid motion as you move up or down.

Butt Over Heels Method

Sound weird? I know, but it’s a good one! Find a soft, comfortable surface like a bed or a sofa and sit on your heels – make sure that one heel is on one cheek and the other heel is on the other cheek. Next, turn your heels outward so that the position spreads your butt checks. Use any other method you’d like to get to the point of ejaculation. During ejaculation, spread your cheeks as far apart as possible for a more intense experience.

And Never try this alone!

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Advanced Male Masturbation Techniques

Pelvis Momentum Technique

Find a soft surface, the sofa or your bed, and sit on your knees. Begin by rubbing your penis. Use any technique that you like – full fist, play-doh, whatever; but add pelvic thrusts to your technique. This creates the sensation of intercourse, and you can vary the aggressiveness of your thrusts to increase or decrease pressure and speed.

Intercourse Style Imitation

You will need plenty of lube. Lay face down on a flat surface – it’s probably more comfortable on a soft surface, though if you prefer the floor, have at it. Prop yourself up on one arm, while you grab your penis with a backhand technique with the other. This is a good method to point that index finger down with. Use your pelvis to thrust in and out of the hand.

Now for the finale. This technique is important, but it doesn’t really fit into any specific category. So we’ll just list this in a category of its own. The technique itself isn’t very difficult, but it does require some set up.

Intercourse Style Masturbation

You will want plenty of lubrication and some plastic. You can use a plastic bag or even a sturdy condom if you like. I do recommend something bigger than a condom, though. Now, you can use the crevice between the cushions on your sofa, or you can use the space between your mattress and your box springs, depending on the amount of pressure you want. You’ll want to place the plastic in the open space – either the crevice or between the mattress and box spring. Put plenty of lubricant inside the plastic, but be careful not to get it on your stuff. Then, insert your penis and have at it. The sofa cushions provide less pressure, but may be a better starting point while you get the hang of the technique. The mattresses make for a tighter fit, so it’s more like a vagina.

Mix and match these techniques to find what works best for you. Don’t be afraid to try something new, just make sure you take any necessary precautions!

And Never try this alone!