Come on, admit it. We all know you do it. You get a little excited when you hear your neighbors or roommates getting theirs. You’re laying in bed after an unsuccessful night at the bars, crying and singing Taylor Swift to yourself, and you can’t help but listen intently to the various noises. But what do these noises mean? Are you getting all that you’ve bargained for when you press your ear against the door or hide in the closet? Deciphering sex sounds can be tricky, but you must understand the meaning behind them. Without meaning, eavesdropping would be meaningless. You understand? So here it goes:

 Excessive Giggling This can mean one of two things: the penis is either terrifyingly huge or tragically microscopic. There is no in between in a case like this. If it were medium-sized, she would just shut up and do the deed – no chuckles involved. This is like a classic, perverted version of Goldilocks. Obviously, she doesn’t know how to react to such extreme ends of the spectrum. So to stop herself from being rude, she just innocently giggles like she’s never seen a dick before. He will just think she is being cute and shy; when in reality, she is trying to hide some intense emotions. Giggling is a sign of being nervous, DUH! Didn’t you learn that in Psych 100 or something? She is not having fun. Don’t be so gullible.

 Abnormal Amount of Screaming Homegirl’s a freak! But seriously, she just knows the tricks of the trade. So she’s been around the hump-block a few times and knows exactly what makes a guy feel good about himself. She is probably being extremely over-the-top, and it’s probably making you feel kind of weird. But she’s smart, because she’s not going to have any trouble getting rid of this punk. He’ll sit back, put his hands behind his head, give himself a high-five, and know that his work there is totes dunzo. Then he will want to run home as fast as he can to tell all his bros about it. As for her, she will be thinking, eh, wasn’t bad, but I really just wanted this bed to myself tonight! Time to starfish.

 Whispers of Sweet Nothings Aw piss, she actually likes this guy. This is what is commonly referred to as a Code Red Situation, or a Stage Five Clinger (or Clingon in some nerd circles). Sure, she had every intention of finding a guy to sleep with and then never speak to again. But the way that his eyes sparkled under the fluorescent bulbs at the Red Lion must’ve really done her in. Or maybe it was the gracefulness that was his hair blowing in the wind of the fog machine. Either way, she took him home to have “passionate” sex and now she wants him to stay, cuddle, and talk about future goals and baby names. Don’t worry, he’ll never call, and they will awkwardly bump into each other at some point. He’ll be with another girl, and she’ll call him a manwhore. She might run away crying and then proceed to gain 15 pounds, but she will eventually get over it. Just know that cute whispers mean disaster in the roommate world.

 Complete and Utter Silence Don’t be sad, you creep; this is only a temporary silence. Ten shots of tequila take a toll on one’s body, and after a long night of drinking, a sleep-sesh comes before a slam-sesh. Sooner or later, one of them will have to get up to use the bathroom, which will wake the other one up (make sure you’re still hiding at this point so you don’t get caught and ruin any chance of living vicariously through them). Now, the fun begins! Although this one won’t be terribly exciting, since they’ll both be in a half asleep, drunken daze. Really sloppy, disgusting, dead fish on dead fish sex ensues. Maybe you’ll hear a grunt or too, if you’re lucky. Give it a good four minutes, and you will hear silence again followed by some guttural snoring. At this point you’ll probably walk back to your room shaking your head in disappointment.

 Now go on and tuck this under your pillow, so next time you hear nookie going down in the other room, you’ll know exactly what’s going on.

Or call me and you can add your own little play-by-play!

1-877-469-3848

Whatever your reasons, the seed has been planted and you are now trying to decide whether to take the leap or not. Tough decision. Your first question should be “what have I got to lose?”

Your wife for one. The psychology behind the affair, the risks, the roadblocks, the games people play, the pleasure, the pain and the price of discovery.

Who would have ever thought that Captain James T. Kirk of the Starship Enterprise could teach you a lesson in infidelity with his famous Kobayashi Maru maneuver? Then again Captain Kirk was always a bit of a horn dog!

If you are seriously considering turning your fantasy into reality, pick up the phone, and do it, without the repercussions.

All affairs come to an end one way or another. Someone is going to get hurt. So why waste your time, when you have all the imwet4u girlz to play with.

Call now!   1-877-469-3848

How does someone go about getting a phone lover? I’m not really
sure since I wasn’t looking for what happened between Brad and me. For
starters we’re both very open to new and different things.

Initially, Brad and I conversed on the computer and moved to the phone
in a business capacity that turned into friendship. We both enjoy witty
conversation and take every opportunity to make plays on words, especially
in a sexual context. Along with the risque’ jokes there was an like electricity,
perhaps generated by our well-matched mentalities. Eventually the joking
and teasing led to a suggestion of making love on the phone, and the mental
attraction injected real possibility into our teasing.

I also felt safe talking to Brad — he wasn’t some stranger calling
numbers at random (who might also have my address), and he wasn’t going to
keep bugging me if the idea didn’t go over. Besides, he has a sexy, melodic
voice and I had wondered what kind of lover he would be. Is it so strange to
be attracted to a man’s voice, after all? I’ve listened to opera singers and
jazz vocalists who’ve put me in the mood faster than a porn video could.

Our first time together, Brad did most of the work. I was sleeping
soundly, tucked up against my pillows, when the phone rang. I answered it
sleepily, and vulnerably, as it later turned out.
“I just had a dream about you,” Brad said in a whispery, breathy,
eager voice.
“What was it?” I asked, giggling a little and shivering with
excitement.
It was four o’clock in the morning, and the “noir gla’mour” of that
adventurous hour enhanced the novelty of the moment.
“I dreamed I was lying here in bed and you were there next to me,
naked and so beautiful. It seemed so real, like I could reach out and
touch you.”
“If I was there, what would you do?” I whispered, that familiar
tingle awakening in my groin.
“What would you like?”
“I love to kiss. It turns me on a lot. Are you a good kisser?”
“The best. I kiss you slowly and softly. I taste you and gently bite
your lip. Then I move down and kiss your nipples. Tell me what they
look like.”
I threw back the sheet and studied my bare breasts in the half-light
of a summer morning.
“The areolas are about the size of half-dollars and my nipples are
about the size of pencil erasers — perfect for nibbling. I like them
nibbled on because they’re very sensitive.”
“Touch them for me. Caress your tits and pinch the nipples.. how does
it feel?”
I did what he asked, never once thinking about faking it.
“Mmmmm. It feels wonderful.”
“Then I kiss my way down between your legs. Describe your pussy to
me.”
“I’ totally hairless, I like it like that, its much more sensitive that way.”
“What about the inside?” What about the slit?”
“It’s kinda like a pouty lil mound and then when I spread it open,
it’s very rosy — more rosy than pink.”
“What’s your scent like?”
“I don’t have a strong scent.”
“Is it wet?”
“Sopping. I always get very wet.”
“Touch yourself. Is your clit swollen?”
“Like a little pea.”
“Wet your finger and taste it.”
I did so, then went back to slowly stroking my slippery slit.
“I’d lick your slit up and down. Then I’d stick my tongue in as
far as I could, scooping out your juices. More licking up and down
and then I’d suck on your clit, pulling it into my mouth until you
cum. What’s happening with you now?”
“I’m grinding my hips on the bed. I want to do you. I want you.”
“What do you want to do?”
“I want to suck your cock.” I tried to picture him lying there
stroking his erect cock as he talked to me.
“Tell me more.”
“I want to start by licking your balls and playing with them. Then
I’ll lick the shaft lightly up and down like  a popsicle.
I’ll flick my tongue over the head, playing with the little hole
on top. I’ll suck the head a little. But once I go down on it, I keep
at it. I deep-throat it every few strokes and I suck on it hard
while I keep stroking with my hand. Once I get it in my mouth I get so
excited I just suck away.. Oh Brad, I want you to fuck me now.”
“I lay you on your back and kneel between your legs rubbing the head
of my cock up and down the slit of your pussy. Then I put it in slowly
and I can feel your pussy. Grabbing at it inch by inch. It feels so
good. I fuck you slowly at first, building you up until you can’t stand it.”
“I want it fast and hard now,” I gasped. “I want you to fuck me and
bite my nipples.”
We were both breathing so heavily by this time it was hard to discern
all the words.
“I fuck you faster and deeper with every stroke until my cock is
bumping the back of your pussy. I kiss and bite your nipples, your neck,
behind your ears. My cock goes so deep into you, and I gyrate my pelvis
frantically so I touch every inch of the walls of your pussy.”
“I feel you. I feel your cock stroking that spot..”
“Cum for me, baby.”
“I’m going to cum now, Brad. I want you to cum, too. I want you to
cum inside me.”
“I’m going to cum and you can feel it shooting into you strong
and hot.”
With that, we both gasped into the phone as we came. My back arched
off the bed as my fingers worked the soft, buttery folds of my pussy.  It was
wonderfullly decadent and satisfying.
That is, until we said good night and broke the connection. The
drawback was having to nestle down into bed alone with no warm
body to cuddle against.

—-
As you can tell, phone sex is not for anyone with an aversion to
four-letter words. You also have to be extremely comfortable with
masturbation. It also helps if you’re vocal when you climax.
Brad always tells me how many times he spurts when he comes and then
after a few endearing words and a lot of teasing, we hang up. I would
recommend phone sex to anyone who’s looking for a way to add variety to
their sex life. In fact, I have recommended it.
As I mentioned before, some of my friends are aware of my
relationship with Brad. The most common question is, how do we keep the sex
from growing stale — after all, we’ve been doing it for almost two years. Well,
there are several ways to vary phone sex. We describe what we’d do in various
positions or acts of sex. For instanced, my sumptuous, very sensual
description of tit-fucking.
“I’ll spread almond oil on your hard, hot cock and then rub it all
over my tits until they glisten. My hard nipples will shine in the
candlelight. You’ll straddle me and press your dick against my chest. I love
how stiff and hot it feels.
“I’ll lift my tits up so that they press against either side of your
cock and you’ll slide it back and forth. It’ll be warm and slick — almost as
good as my pussy. I’ll flick the head of your cock with my tongue as you
thrust forward. Then I’ll press my tits even harder against you and play with
the nipples. When you cum you’ll thrust it into my mouth and I’ll suck every
single precious drop from you.
Brad has also instructed me on how to use my vibrator.
Then one night when I called Brad he had just put a porn film on. He described
the action (a threesome) to me and we both got off. That gave me the idea of
copying one of my favorite porn films.  We watched the flick together,
Brad in IL and me in FL, and we had achieved our goal within the first ten
minutes of the film. Because of the distance provided by the telephone,
maybe we’re both more uninhibited than we might usually be. In any case,
the relationship has led me to try other scenarios I previously wasn’t
much interested in. One of those was a threesome.
One night — inevitably — there was a woman with him when I called.
Brad put Cathy on his wireless phone. With all three of us describing
the moves or giving orders, I listened intently and avidly while they
fucked each other passionately and I came feverishly. Unfortunately,
I felt a little lonely afterward since he had someone there to continue
the good times with or cuddle up with after the connection as broken,
whereas I again had an empty bed.

Another first was a threesome on my end. When one evening
I was at the apartment of one my closest friends. We had been
drinking and talking about sex, as usual. In a fit of honesty
I told her about my relationship with Brad. She thought it was great.
We drank a little more and went on watching some movie.
We kept wishing we had a man with us, and even tried to reach a
couple of men we knew, but without success. Then I hit on the idea of
calling Brad. He was all for it, which I wasn’t surprised to say the least.
Tina and I sat on her kitchen floor (she had only one phone and it
was in the kitchen). We were naked and drunk and horny. The floor was cold
and the room was dark. Brad’s voice sounded extra sexier than ever.
After the introduction was made, we giggled and waited for someone to
start something.
Suddenly, Tina leaned over and sucked my nipple, very gently.
“Oh!” I exclaimed.
“What’s the matter?” Brad asked.
“She’s — oh! She’s sucking on my tit,” I told him.
“Do you like it?”
“Actually, yes. Do you?”
“I love it. If you like it, what’s the problem?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t expect it. I thought we were all just going
to masturbate together.”
“Relax. Enjoy it.”
“Okay.”
“So tell me what she’s doing.”
“She’s got her hand on my pussy. She’s playing with me.”
“Does it feel good?”
“Yes. Very good. Mmmmm..”
“Do you think you’ll cum?”
“I always cum.”
“Are you horny?”
“I’m always horny.”
“What’s she doing now?”
“She’s licking me.  I’ve never done this before.”
“How does it feel?”
“It feels good. I wish it were you.”
“Now what’s happening?”
“Tina’s licking my clit and finger-fucking me.. Brad I’m going to
cum now.”
“Now you should reciprocate, ” Brad said.
He listened while I gasped in a paroxysm of pleasure. Tina raised her
head and kissed me on the lips so I could taste my juices.
Tentatively, I reached out and touched her pussy. It was wet and
warm, much like my own. Touching it was strangely familiar, but still I was
unsure of what to do. Under Brad’s guidance I brought Tina — and him — to
orgasm.  And Tina pushed me over the edge once again.
Then we started on the oral stuff. First I stood up while Tina — at
Brad’s command — parted my pussy lips and licked me up and down. Then she
lay down on the kitchen floor and I straddled her head. We went into a sixty-
nine position with Brad telling me what to do and listening to the slurp of
Tina’s dripping cunt, which smelled similar to mine — not too strong or fishy
like girls I had stood near in the gym. I made her scream with pleasure so
that Brad could hear her all the way in IL. She went to work on me with
a vengeance and Brad shot off yet again.
Tina and I went to separate beds satisfied at how bold we had been and yet
not totally satisfied for lack of physical contact with a man.
I wonder if I’ll ever find a FL lover as open and as much of a
friend as Brad is.
I wonder if Brad will ever come to Florida so that I can finally get
under the covers with him.
More than that, I wonder if Brad and I will have as good a time in
person as we do over the phone.

Call Kristy for the ultimate GFE!

1-877-469-3848