Archive for March 5th, 2010

Some people would say that everyone is bisexual, but I’m not going to buy into that line. That’s the easiest way to confuse those of you who may be on the fence.

And no, just because you thought about doing something with a friend of the same sex—or maybe even did a little fooling around at one time—it doesn’t mean that you’ve got the “B” label branded on your forehead forever. Nor, does it mean if you’ve never actually had sex with both a man and a woman that you cannot declare yourself a bisexual.

In fact, many people who identify as bisexual have yet to experience full sexual relations with a man and a woman (and it doesn’t have to be at the same time, either!)

Bisexuality, in its simplest form, is the understanding or awareness that you can be attracted physically and emotionally to either gender at some point.

It doesn’t mean that you have to be equally attracted to both, and it doesn’t mean that you have to have regular sex with both genders to be happy or satisfied. And yes, bisexuals can be monogamous, and have one only one partner at a time and be very content.

So, very simply, the term is one of self-identification. That is why we don’t see more people out there calling themselves “bisexual.” It is a term that brings with it a lot of misconceptions, prejudices and judgments. A lot of people act in bisexual ways, but don’t call themselves that. Others may never have really understood the term fully.

If you’re “on the fence” about whether you’re bisexual, don’t just jump in. Go to a Bi Center or a bisexual club and meet others to talk about it. Or, just do some more experimenting until you are sure.

There are many ways of testing your sexuality. There are many quizzes you can take online, and even a bunch of tests that we developed that even include what you like to put between your lips to test your sexual preference.

If you know you are definitely not that way, then that’s fine. That doesn’t mean you have to stop reading this column. However, if you do identify as such, welcome to the club, keep on reading.

Dr. Fritz’s Sexual Orientation Grid

Dr. Fritz Klein, an established and well-respected bisexual professor, activist, psychiatrist, and sexologist, took the Kinsey scale and created a more intricate grid to address the complexities of sexuality.

Klein’s Sexual Orientation Grid analyzes seven parts of your sexual orientation, listed as A through G down the left hand column. The three columns to the right indicate the person’s past, present, and their ideal feelings about both sexes.

The person then receives a rating from 1 to 7 for each of the 21 resulting combinations, one rating for each empty box in the chart below. The meanings of the ratings are indicated below the grid itself.

For variables A to E:

1 = Other sex only
2 = Other sex mostly
3 = Other sex somewhat more
4 = Both sexes
5 = Same sex somewhat more
6 = Same sex mostly
7 = Same sex only

For variables F and G:

1 = Heterosexual only
2 = Heterosexual mostly
3 = Heterosexual somewhat more
4 = Hetero/Gay-Lesbian equally
5 = Gay/Lesbian somewhat more
6 = Gay/Lesbian mostly
7 = Gay/Lesbian only